Interview That Character
by Mystic Winds
Summary: Torture continues! Another Episode of Dun, dun, dun Interview That Character! These episodes were seperate but now together, enjoy! [Complete]
1. Default Chapter

"Mystic Winds here reporting live from Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry on our first episode of Interview That Character. I am now here with the famous Harry Potter, the boy who lived."  
  
"Excuse me." A confused looking Harry taps Mystic on the shoulder.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Who are you talking to?" Mystic turns to face where she had been speaking and then back to the boy.  
  
"My readers of course, now Mr. Potter I'd like to ask you a few questions."  
  
"Er... all right?"  
  
"First what is it like to be the boy who lived? Exciting? Annoying? Tell me your feelings."  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Confused perhaps?"  
  
"I'm not confused! I'm not any of the things you just said!"  
  
"Ok. Sorry. Please answer the question though." Harry stares at Mystic for a moment, contemplating something.  
  
"You're not related to Rita Skeeter are you?"  
  
"No," Mystic Winds looks confused, "why would you think that?"  
  
"Oh, nothing."  
  
"Fine. Next question..." Mystic stops suddenly looking over Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Hey Ron, Ron Weasley! Can you come over here please?" A cautious red head approaches. Mystic Winds plasters a TV smile on her face and turns to thin air.  
  
"I am now here with Ron Weasley, friend and adventure colleague of Harry Potter," She turns back to Ron and Harry, "Now Mr. Weasley, I'd like to ask you a few questions."  
  
"Um... Sure," he speaks out of the side of his mouth to Harry, "Who was she talking to?"  
  
"Readers," was all that Harry said.  
  
"Now Ron do you have and relationship beyond friendship with Miss Hermione Granger?"  
  
"What?! No, we're just friends! What makes you think that?!"  
  
"Just asking, just asking. No need to rip off my head now. Yeesh!" Mystic Winds spots a greasy, black haired man passing by in the shadows.  
  
"Snape! Professor Snape! Please, would you come over here for a moment?" Snape moves slowly over towards them, staying close to the shadows. He looked at the bubbly girl in from of him warily.  
  
"Now Severus, may I call you Severus?"  
  
"It's Professor Snape," he growled.  
  
"Fine," She turns again to thin air.  
  
"I am now here with the infamous Professor Severus Snape."  
  
"She's blinkin' mad," whispered Ron out of the corner of his mouth, "Remind me never to visit America. There must be something in the water there if someone can act like that."  
  
"Professor Snape, is it true that you have been after the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher positions for years?" Snape opened his mouth to answer but is cut off by Mystic.  
  
"And is it true that you have been secretly cursing every teacher that has been given this position and not you?" Snape glares at Mystic Wind, saying nothing. Mystic backs off a little holding her hands up in defense.  
  
"Ok, ok. Bad question I know. Please don't curse or hex me," she then looks at her watch, "Well my time is up." She turns once again to thin air.  
  
"This is Mystic Wind reporting live from Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry saying good day and good night. Until next time on Interview That Character!"  
  
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this peak at the craziness that is me! I was bored in the middle of class so this just came out. Boredom = Creativity. Well until next time, read, review, and sit back and relax while I brew up another piece of junk due to boredom. Maybe I'll continue with more episodes of Interview That Character. Who knows!  
  
*The sun rises, mist dissipates. Now is the time for Mystic Winds slumber.* Day bad, Night good.


	2. next episode

A/N: A reader suggested some of this to me. Much thanks to the reader! Now on with the torture! *Grins evilly* I do not own any of these characters and what I put in here doesn't necessarily make it true about them. Enjoy!  
  
"Mystic Winds here once again at Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. I am now outside of the headmaster's office, ready to expose what really happens in there. Shall we?" Mystic Winds walks over to the door and swings it wide open. The scene before her makes her jaw drop.  
  
**If I were a rich man,  
  
Daidle deedle daidle  
  
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum  
  
All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum  
  
If I were a wealthy man.  
  
I wouldn't have to work hard,  
  
Daidle deedle daidle  
  
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum  
  
If I were a biddy-biddy rich,  
  
Daidle deedle daidle daidle man. **  
  
Right in front of her was Albus Dumbledore. His back was facing her as he swayed his arms up in the air and was singing 'If I were A Rich Man' from Fiddler on the Roof at the top of his lungs. Mystic Winds quickly shut the door with a surprised look on her face. It quickly turned from surprised to an excited smile though as realization came to her.  
  
"Finally! Dirt on Dumbledore!" Mystic then looks behind her at thin air and mouths an 'oops'. Quickly she turns around to face thin air, a TV smile plastered on her face, "Well, it would seem that Professor Dumbledore has some explaining to do. Obviously they placed a sound proofing spell on this room, which would explain why everyone in the school hasn't gone deaf yet. I think we'll wait until he's done with the last verse before we interrupt him again. We'll be right back after this commercial."  
  
Commercial...  
  
"Welcome back to Interview That Character. Dumbledore has gone through nearly the entire song now. I think it would be a good time to interrupt him." She walks over to the door then stops. Before opening it she pulls out some earplugs. When they are finally placed in her ears she opens the door.  
  
**If I were a rich man,  
  
Daidle deedle daidle  
  
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum  
  
All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum  
  
If I were a wealthy man.  
  
I wouldn't have to work hard,  
  
Daidle deedle daidle  
  
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum  
  
Lord who made the lion and the lamb,  
  
You decreed I should be what I am-- ... **  
  
"Um...Professor Dumbledore? Professor... PROFESSOR!" Dumbledore stops in mid-note, his arms frozen in the air. He slowly turns around to see a girl looking at him with an excited look on her face. Quickly he dashed to his desk, faster than anyone had seen him go in ages. He now had his hands folded in his lap and the famous risen brow 'what can I do for you?' business look on his face.  
  
"Yes? How may I help you?" Mystic didn't know whether to feel awe that someone could move that fast even in old age, or to laugh that someone at his age would run that fast. She decided to just place her TV smile back on and walked up to him.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore, I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind." Dumbledore nodded in recognition and Mystic smiled at him. She then turned around to thin air and began to speak.  
  
"After a long wait and a few verses of 'If I were A Rich Man' I am now here with Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster at Hogwarts," she turns to Dumbledore, "Now Dumbledore, tell me what was that little display you presented us earlier, hmm?" Dumbledore looked at her strangely.  
  
"What? Do I have something in my teeth?" Mystic pulls out a large mirror from who-knows-where and examines her teeth. "Oh, good. That could have been embarrassing." She then puts the mirror back who-knows-where and turns back to Dumbledore.  
  
"I have seen many things in my life. In fact I have seen many things that others have not but never, never have I seen a young lady talking to thin air."  
  
"I wasn't talking to thin air, silly. I was speaking to my readers," she said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And look who's talking. You're the one that was dancing around your office singing songs from muggle musicals." Dumbledore shifts a little uncomfortably in his chair.  
  
"Anyway, my time is running out so I'd like to ask you a few questions. First, do you do what I just saw regularly or was it a one time thing?" Dumbledore remained silent. Mystic looked at him expectantly but several minutes passed and he still remained silent.  
  
"Okay. Next question then. Do you secretly love Professor McGonagall?" Dumbledore was beginning to attain a look similar to Snape's death glare. Mystic noticed this and backed up a little. She was about to excuse herself, seeing that Dumbledore looked ready to kill but someone knocked on the door. Dumbledore called them in and none other than Snape walked in.  
  
"Hey Severus!" Snape turned to the cheery voice that had dared call him by his first name and his eyes widened.  
  
"You! What are you doing here?!" He pulled his wand out of his pocket and aimed it at Mystic. She held her hands up and stared at the wand nervously.  
  
"Er, no need to get this drastic Snape. It's not like I asked you that many questions. In fact I only asked you one. Hey, how 'bout another interview?!" Snape only stepped closer and began a spell.  
  
"Ava..."  
  
"Severus!" Snape stopped the curse he was about to cast. Mystic paled and hid behind an armchair.  
  
"There is to be no cursing in my school, especially Avada Kedavra! Even on a girl like her!"  
  
"You were going to use one of the unforgivable curses on me?!" Mystic quickly said this but then ducked back behind the chair when Snape glared daggers at her. Then her muffled voice came from behind the chair, "What do you mean a girl like me?!"  
  
Dumbledore sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration, "Young lady, if you don't calm down and be quiet I may have to use one of the unforgivable curses on you myself." Silence answered Dumbledore and he sighed, this time in relief. He then turned to a seething Snape.  
  
"I take it that you have met this girl recently?"  
  
"Yes, where does she have the nerve to ask me about my personal life?!" He tried to go over to the armchair that Mystic was hiding behind but was held back by Dumbledore. Mystic Winds peeked out from behind the chair and then gave a yelp and hid again when she saw Snape trying to advance on her, his hands flexing like he wanted them around her neck.  
  
"Okay then, I think my time is up," came the muffled voice of Mystic Winds behind the armchair, "Tune in next time with me, Mystic Winds on Interview That Character!"  
  
A/N: How crazy do you think I am now? On a scale of one to ten I'm guessing you're thinking ten, huh? I've always wanted to use that song in a story and now I have, yeah! Okay don't forget to review, it's really easy. See that little button in the corner that says go? Do you? Good. Now, all you have to do is push it and review. Say it with me. Push and review. Push...and review. Good!  
  
Reminder to those of you that just don't understand, this is not original and it's just some stupid thing dragged up from the dark corners of my mind. If you look at nearly half of the stuff on this site you'll find many things that aren't original. Thank you for reading this. I will now get off of my soapbox.  
  
*The sun rises, mist dissipates. Now is the time for Mystic Winds slumber.* Day bad, Night good. 


End file.
